Feelings, intentions and the language of love...
When relationship becomes the problem
Whether between adults - or between adults and children -when we get hurt and irritated is is very easy to misunderstand each other, feel unfairly treated and become locked in negative cycles of interaction. We end up blaming, defending or withdrawing. When this happens we tend to "close down" and it becomes very difficult to really listen to each other sympathetically any more. We can end up living each in your own separate understanding of how we things are. Very soon we can feel rejected or abandoned, lonely, sad and angry. The more we argue and try to "straighten things out", the more difficult things become.
At some point it may be wise to seek help from others in order to be able to see the situation - oneself and each other - more clearly, in order to be able to approach and care for the relationship in another way.
When relationship becomes the problem
Whether between adults - or between adults and children -when we get hurt and irritated is is very easy to misunderstand each other, feel unfairly treated and become locked in negative cycles of interaction. We end up blaming, defending or withdrawing. When this happens we tend to "close down" and it becomes very difficult to really listen to each other sympathetically any more. We can end up living each in your own separate understanding of how we things are. Very soon we can feel rejected or abandoned, lonely, sad and angry. The more we argue and try to "straighten things out", the more difficult things become.
At some point it may be wise to seek help from others in order to be able to see the situation - oneself and each other - more clearly, in order to be able to approach and care for the relationship in another way.
Good intentions
When we receive adequate help in order to listen at a deeper level, we can renew our contact with our fundamental needs for safety, intimacy, acknowledgement, freedom or creative expression etc. When these needs are ignored over time, then they begin to express themselves in a negative way in our relationships with others. The consequences are strong feelings of disconnectedness and discontentment, both with ourselves and each other.
Space for new dialogues and new possibilities
Whether you are a couple in difficulty or a family, when we receive help to feel into, identify and express our needs, we can begin to understand and acknowledge ourselves and each other in a new way. Instead of complaining and blaming, we can begin to support each other in taking responsibility for both our lives and our relationship to each other. This is always positive for one's identity and for the quality of life.
My role
I work together with you in order to create the conditions necessary for such moments of awareness and learning. These can be both creative and loving moments of self-understanding that allow our perspectives to broaden and our lives to begin to move. In this way, new dialogues are born, new stories created about ourselves and each other, stories that open for new landscapes of experience.
My work consists of creating a safe space where you can share your stories, where I can begin to understand your feelings and emotional needs. My role is to acknowledge and reflect together with you and invite you into a new dialogue with yourself and each other that can enrich the quality of your relationship.
I base my approach on principles and methods from Emotionally Focused Therapy and mindful communication, Systemic Family Therapy, Narrative Therapy and Integrative Therapy, These approaches are well founded and are documented to have good effect.
If you are in a family a with teenager, I offer work on the basis of principles embodied in the Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go program. These are described separately.
When we receive adequate help in order to listen at a deeper level, we can renew our contact with our fundamental needs for safety, intimacy, acknowledgement, freedom or creative expression etc. When these needs are ignored over time, then they begin to express themselves in a negative way in our relationships with others. The consequences are strong feelings of disconnectedness and discontentment, both with ourselves and each other.
Space for new dialogues and new possibilities
Whether you are a couple in difficulty or a family, when we receive help to feel into, identify and express our needs, we can begin to understand and acknowledge ourselves and each other in a new way. Instead of complaining and blaming, we can begin to support each other in taking responsibility for both our lives and our relationship to each other. This is always positive for one's identity and for the quality of life.
My role
I work together with you in order to create the conditions necessary for such moments of awareness and learning. These can be both creative and loving moments of self-understanding that allow our perspectives to broaden and our lives to begin to move. In this way, new dialogues are born, new stories created about ourselves and each other, stories that open for new landscapes of experience.
My work consists of creating a safe space where you can share your stories, where I can begin to understand your feelings and emotional needs. My role is to acknowledge and reflect together with you and invite you into a new dialogue with yourself and each other that can enrich the quality of your relationship.
I base my approach on principles and methods from Emotionally Focused Therapy and mindful communication, Systemic Family Therapy, Narrative Therapy and Integrative Therapy, These approaches are well founded and are documented to have good effect.
If you are in a family a with teenager, I offer work on the basis of principles embodied in the Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go program. These are described separately.
